Men’s 3rd XI take a different starting approach to their match against Brighton & Hove

Match report: The score was 1-0 (but to whom?)

To set the scene, it was early, it was cold, and nobly the captain arrived late. As we congregated on the pitch, a grave realisation was made; we had no balls, so naturally we stood around and waited until the problem sorted itself.

The game began, and rapidly the ball went into the net – our net, and this was not preferable as its meant to go in the other net. After this brief upset we balanced out their tendency to attack with our own policy of firing the ball at the highest man and praying they would not cut it out, which they did, often.

At half time, things had shifted in our favour. Specifically mentioned was that we should adopt a policy of winning short corners rather than make a strike from any angle and hope for the best. This was sage advice. Relentlessly we sent attack after attack their way, but we fooled them by unexpectedly not converting any of our attacks into goals. This clearly threw them off as they did not score again.

Whilst we had a squad of 15, it appears there was an imposter in our midst. Conventionally, players are advised to tackle the opposing team, but in this age of turmoil and uncertainty, this unspoken law was not to be abided by. Alas we were attacked from the inside by intra team tackling, which I am as yet unable to spin as advantageous.

It is entirely possible that the whole team was confused by the lack of aggression and unbridled criticism usually funnelled down from the upfront, as notably there were no cards given and little shouting before the 50th minute, most unusual indeed.

In all, a very close game (mostly), lost perhaps due to an early goal for the opposition and an inability to convert. As a side note, the policy of unifying short corners through a committed attempt to make sure every ball to the post was aimed at the keepers pads was not a sensible one, as it did not lead to a single goal.

Next Week: the Men’s 3rd XI team play Lewes men’s 4s away at 1500

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